Huberman Lab:你的情绪支持，真的在帮助对方吗？

很多人以为自己在提供情绪支持，其实只是“盲目的同情“（Idiot Compassion），不仅没有减轻痛苦，反而可能让对方更加痛苦。但这个问题是有解决方法的。
Lori Gottlieb 是享誉全球的亲密关系专家，擅长帮助人们寻找伴侣、经营关系、面对关系结束后的生活，以及修复受损的关系。
在这段视频中，她解释了一种非常普遍的现象：当人们在亲密关系中遇到问题时，往往会向朋友寻求支持。
她认可与朋友倾诉的好处，但同时强调，很多时候，我们自以为能够帮助他人的同情，其实只是暂时缓解痛苦的“创可贴“。从长远来看，这种方式反而可能带来更多痛苦。
她区分了两种不同的同情方式：“盲目的同情“（Idiot Compassion）和“智慧的同情“（Wise Compassion）。后者强调，我们需要认识到自己在各种人际关系问题中所扮演的角色，以及自身应承担的责任。
在这期播客中，我们探讨了许多与寻找伴侣、成为优秀的亲密关系伴侣有关的话题。基于数十年来帮助来访者建立理想关系的经验，她分享了许多具体、可操作的方法。
我认为，这期节目对每个人都有帮助，包括那些已经处于亲密关系中的人，因为我们也深入讨论了如何成为一个更好的伴侣。
一如既往，感谢大家对科学的关注！
WHAT MANY THINK IS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT IS ACTUALLY IDIOT COMPASSION (& LEADS TO MORE SUFFERING NOT LESS) • THERE IS A SOLUTION •
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Lori Gotllieb is a world renowned expert on relationships: finding them, being in them, moving forward if/after they end and how to repair them.
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Here she is explaining a common phenomenon whereby people seek support from their friends when they encounter challenges in relationship. While she acknowledges the benefits of talking to friends about these matters, she emphasizes that most of the time the compassion that we think is helping people is merely providing a Band-Aid in the short term that leads to more suffering overall and in the long run.
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She distinguishes idiot compassion from wise compassion which emphasizes our role in the problems that we encounter in relationships of all kinds.
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During the episode, we talk about a large number of topics related to finding and being an excellent romantic partner. She provides excellent actionable protocols based on decades of experience helping clients find and build the relationships they want most.
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It’s an episode that ought to be a benefit to everybody, including those already in a relationship as it also focuses on how to be a better partner.
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We also discussed the impact of modern technology on relationships.
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And as always, thank you for your interest in science!